When we are speaking about subjects like "relating to women", or "how to relate to women" or "Are you able to relate to women?", I often get asked about the simplest way to begin getting physical with a girl that you have known as a pal for awhile.
Getting physical is one thing which usually occurs naturally between a man and a woman over a three month period unless one or both of them is really uncomfortable on disinterested.
When a man is not comfortable with approaching a woman for a physical relationship, the the most important thing which a man can do to handle that is learn how to observe and use gradients.
Exactly what are gradients? Gradients are just like steps on a ladder that you climb to reach the top. A few guys may try to go to the top of the ladder without climbing any of the steps. And that makes the girl uncomfortable and also the guy.
A man who is uncomfortable in this field ought to learn both how to recognize gradients when women use them and how to use gradients on women.
Not all women will begin at the same gradient. Some girls will begin with a kiss after a first date, and move up gradually or rapidly from there - from kissing, to making out, to petting, to heavy petting and finally to sexual relations. If a man tries to leap to the "sexual relations" step without going through the other gradients, he might just lose the girl. However, you may lose a girl because you are moving up the gradients too slowly.
Now other women won't even be up to the gradient of giving you a goodnight kiss until the seventh date. Gradients for her might be: getting to know you, talking about sexual subjects indirectly (for instance commiserating about an ex-boyfriend), accidental touch (clashing with you while you walk), purposeful little touches to your arm or leg, holding onto your arm as you walk, holding your hand, and then a goodnight kiss.
If you are uncomfortable with this area and wish to get physical with a girl, flirt with her, romance her, notice where she is on the gradients of sexual contact, then lead her up the gradients lightly. So long as you don't skip too many gradients, if she is interested, she will move up the gradients quickly or slowly depending on her personality.
If she is not interested, she probably won't move up. Try lowering the gradient and if she still doesn't move up, try talking about it. Ask her if she is serious about a relationship with you or if she only wants to be good friends.
Also remember that most women won't go out on a "date" with you unless they are already vaguely okay with the concept of getting physical with you. Thus you might like to clarify if you are dating or simply "chilling out."
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