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In Sales training programmes, negotiation skills are often missed altogether. You could say that the underlying reason most of us feel the need to negotiate with anyone else is so that we can find a way to get what we would like. Being human, most of us believe that our opinion is very important and that everyone else should at least consider seeing things our way. If you had no desires or requirements, there would be little reason for you to enter in into negotiations with anyone.

If sales courses don't always teach persuasion skills, how then can you convince other people to favourably consider your proposals?

Believe it or not, there is a science backed up by more than 60 years of research that has informed our knowledge of the use of persuasion to meet our needs and wants in sales negotiation. The world's foremost expert on the science of influence, Dr Robert Cialdini, has uncovered 6 principles of persuasive communication in his research:

Reciprocation
Liking
Commitment & Consistency
Authority
Scarcity
Social Proof

Whilst persuasion will always be an art, it is really helpful to deploy the power of the 6 principles identified by science to optimise your odds of convincing others to give you what you really want.

Let's start by examining at what I believe to be the most important principle from a negotiation point of view - reciprocation.

Reciprocation means that we return to others the form of behaviour that they exhibit towards us. If you have helped me, then I should help you. If you invite me to your birthday party, then I should invite you to my birthday party. If you make a concession to me, then I should make a concession to you.

So what does this mean to you and how can you deploy it to get what you would like?

Here's how:

Make sure that when you start a negotiation you ask for a little more than you would like to receive.

Let's say you are selling a widget and you would like to obtain $ 100 for the widget.

If you would like to use the principle of reciprocation, then you should commence by requesting a little more - let's say by requesting $ 105.

If your counterparty does not agree to handing over $ 105 for the widget, then you are able to extend a concession by lowering your price to $ 100 in exchange for your counterparty also making a concession to you. A concession that your counterparty could make in this case could be to pay you immediately on the spot or to facilitate shipping etc.

The key is for you to offer the concession - don't wait for your counterparty to offer a concession. Just make sure that you use the word 'if' when you make your concession:

"If you are prepared to hand over the cash right now, then I could reduce the price from $ 105 to $ 100". This way you give an indication to your counterparty that you are willing to be flexible and you will now significantly increase the likeliness of them also being flexible and offering a concession in return.

Just be sure to use this principle 'in the moment' whilst you are negotiating. If you walked away from a negotiation to reconsider your proposal, your counterparty will be more likely to regard your amended offer as a new proposal, not as a concession.

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